FIRST RESPONDERS

Lots of truths. You are service minded and like living by the rule of law…the law of the land. Unlike most others, you run to the roar of the lion and not away from it. You most likely have all your life.  You will sacrifice yourself for others, unless they want to benefit themselves at the cost of another human being or break those rules of law. You are sick and tired of people, or soon will be.  

When you feel overwhelmed emotionally, you think it is weak to ask anyone for help. Talking to someone about it is nauseating. Probably someone you admire said “real men or women just suck it up”, and you think that is how to survive. You know you represent the strongest men and women of our society, and those folks don’t ask for help…at least in your mind. You don’t want to look weak in front of your family, superiors or peers and besides, it might affect your career.  

You also had to shut down your sympathy, and more so your empathy, long ago to survive. You see yourself as a hardened nice guy or gal that was once kind, but now with a hard but fair heart of stone toasted by the horrible things you have seen or by the dregs of society. You find one of the most difficult things about your job is “short cycling” every 24 hours. You struggle to find a way to be a decent spouse and parent. You can’t talk to anyone because it is either illegal, or you might meet them or their family on the street or at a little league game. You don’t want to poison your spouse with the arsenic of the streets or the emergency room…you hold it inside to protect you family at all costs. Children are your soft spot, and you have to hide it. You even sometimes have dreams about your kids being influenced by the streets…becoming like them. If you’re honest, you see yourself slowly turning into a horse’s butt to everyone you used to hold near and dear. Incoming…hard truth…you don’t realize it, but you are slowly becoming the enemy to them.  

Additionally, you have protocols you go through when you get home to separate your work from your family life…like changing clothes in the garage or having to take a bath when you first get home. Yep, we know. We lived it. You might go to your shop to cool down or have a few drinks to ease the pain and anger. You fight back being judgmental. We heard a saying a long time ago, “If you look at the world through its butt long enough you will get a crappy outlook on life”. Ringing any bells here?  

Further, when you hear about programs to help first responders with their nightmares and emotional baggage, you listen for your friends. You recon programs always thinking about someone you know that needs it…all the while forgetting yourself.

Well, if you want to save your family, your children and maybe even yourself…you need to pay attention to yourself.  Self-care is the number one neglected part of most responder’s lives. It’s kind of like the oxygen masks on an airplane. You have to put on your own mask first before you can help anybody else. It just works that way…and you know it.